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| Can you say purple pizza? Fuzzy bananas? Pickle nose?So a couple of nights ago, 4am, I woke up to a loud noise that sounded like an explosion, and the feeling that my bed had just been dropped on the floor. It was terrifying, probably more than if I would have been awake at the time. But because I was sleeping, I woke up panicked and couldn't think logically. I got out of bed and walked around my whole apartment looking at everything, half asleep, I guess just checking that everything was okay. I completely convinced myself that I was having a bad dream, and walked back to bed. But then I realized Lola was freaking out too, hiding under my bed. So I figured it was probably a loud truck or something.
When I woke up for work, mom called to tell me she heard there was an earthquake in Roanoke! Unbelievable. For some reason the whole thing is really disturbing to me. There was no damage, and people are done talking about it. It's actually kind of a joke now. Most people didn't even feel it. (The epicenter was probably my apartment.) But man, it really messed with me. It's something I never imagined I would feel. The ground isn't supposed to move or drop suddenly, it's the ground! Does that sound crazy?
Speaking of crazy, the hag next door and I have made up. We didn't hug it out or anything, but she knocked on my door, handed me a catnip plant, grunted a little and coughed up some smoke. It was a nice gesture, and Lola would probably thank her if she did anything but lurk in dark corners and stare.
Work is alright, I'm doing pretty well at it still. Sometimes it sucks a lot, but it's worth the money. I got yelled at by a customer yesterday, but she was a mean old bitch and that isn't my problem. It's her family's. There are a lot of mean old bitches in this town, and if I ever see them outside of work I am going to trip them and run.
Most of the time I'm exhausted by the kids. I spend hours each day making fart noises, jumping around, chasing kids, telling really bad jokes, making ridiculous faces, and tickling babies with stuffed animals. I've lost a lot of weight. I wipe drool, I get spit up on, and both my pants and my shoes have been peed on. Oh, and I have to smile about it. And then the parents call corporate and complain about bad customer service.
I actually didn't like kids at all before this job, but now they're the best part. I moved to a city by myself, I have no friends, and all I do is work and pay bills. I'd give anything to be 5 again and not have to worry about so many things. So when I get to play with the kids, I feel a little bit better. At least they aren't passive aggressive. And maybe little D' Shawn drools in my hair, but when I get to make him laugh, and he reaches his hands out for me to pick him up-- that's worth it. Maybe I just want to be appreciated.
Today I went furniture shopping. The woman helping me, Dot, was really nice and funny. We found a cute sofa and an ottoman that I really liked, and I decided to buy them. She asked me to sit down with her, so I did, and she said something that made my entire day, "I am so proud of you." It surprised me a little, because she doesn't know me at all, so I asked why. She said, "You moved here alone for a job, you have your own place, you're picking out your own furniture. And when I asked you if you wanted to buy them, you said yes without calling your parents or boyfriend for permission. There aren't enough independent young women like you."
I got broken up with yesterday. I was crushed. Dot made me feel better than I thought was possible.
Thanks, Dot.
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| Damn dog.I officially moved to Roanoke yesterday, and so far everything is great. I love my apartment so much; It's been really fun setting it up exactly how I like it. Living alone might be a little boring, but it's also liberating. I can do anything I want in my own apartment! As long as it's legal. And if it isn't, I can just close the blinds.
Roanoke is triple the population of Morgantown and a million times more diverse. It's pretty great being in a town filled with such a variety of people. Back home it feels like everyone is exactly the same. Here, they feel a little less predictable. I think that comes with larger places-- more unique people and more vegetarian/ vegan food.
My landlord back in Morgantown (Andrew Smith of Smith Properties, LLC) was a HUGE ASSHOLE with pit stains. And my new landlord here in Roanoke (Jay Foster) is very nice, respectful, and professional. And also kind of dreamy. Doesn't hurt.
When I first saw this apartment, there was a giant barking dog in the back yard that scared the hell out of me. Huge, loud dogs have always scared me and probably always will. The guy showing me the place said he didn't know whose dog it was but that it would be gone when I moved in. Today I went into the dark creepy basement to do my laundry, and on my way back up the stairs I was greeted by that dog barking and coming down after me. I completely lost my shit, ran into the laundry room and shut the door behind me. I checked my pockets and realized I didn't have my phone, and that's when I accepted that I would be in the basement until one of us died, hopefully the dog. Luckily though, after about fifteen minutes I heard the dog walk away long enough for me to sprint up the stairs and through my back door. He ran up to my door right after it closed and barked like crazy.
I called my landlord and told him, so he called the old lady who was secretly keeping the dog, and she came and knocked on my door. She was just as scary as her dog. Dirty robe, yellow teeth and fingers, greasy, smelled like alcohol and smoke, rough voice. She drunkenly apologized, told me she was pissed off about how old she is, and asked me to come meet the dog and pet him. I declined. She said, "He's a big baby, just because he's big doesn't mean he's scary. You're big, is anyone afraid of you?" I said, "Shut up, hag." No, I didn't.
But seriously, if that shit happens again I'm moving.
Luckily my uncle Chris invited me over to use his dryer. And while I was there I had dinner with him and Laureen. He made this stir fry with fake chicken and beans and vegetables. Hopefully he'll teach me how to cook a little because that was DELICIOUS. I'm glad I went over, it made my day a lot less sucky.
Tomorrow! I'm driving to Charlotte to start training for my job. Pretty excited about it. Last night my new manager Rya(?) called to "touch bases." She seemed super nice, and she said training is really fun. Apparently she just went last year! People move up fast in this company, hope I'm one of them. Another girl I'm working with- Amy- called me tonight to say hi. Also super nice. There are two other people working with me- Jamie and Josh I think? And if they're as cool as Amy and Rya, this will be a fun job. Some papers I had to sign said specifically not to blog about my job, but I don't think this counts. I'm not giving away any information or talking crap on the company so I'm good right? No one reads my blog anyway. Except Maria, Amberlee, and my creepy ex- boyfriend, so I should be safe.
That's all, I'll post photos later!
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| The move.Yesterday Ash, Nathan and Kimmy came over, and helped Andrea and I move a bunch of furniture into my UHaul. Kimmy also brought over food from the Olive Garden, two kinds of wine, and cheesecake. That was amazing, she always does stuff like that, just overly generous. I had a lot of fun sitting around talking with them, and I almost wish I hadn't because it's making this whole thing harder. I wish we could all get in a big fight and I could flip them the bird and speed off to Virginia. But unfortunately I love them a lot, and I don't see that changing.
Tomorrow Kimmy is following my Uhaul in her car, and we're going to Roanoke to move all my junk into the new apartment (with help from my Uncle Chris who lives a couple of blocks away.) I'm excited because 1. I'm an adult or whatever, 2. I get to try new things (like living alone and working a lot?) 3. I realize that I am lucky to get a good job in this kind of economy (and as an artist) and 4. I've wanted to live in that city since I was a kid.
But today it suddenly hit me that I will be FIVE hours away from my mom and brother. I have trouble as it is being an hour away, because I always worry about my mom's health and worry that I'm not involved enough in Sean's life. And also, strangely, my mom and brother are my two best friends. No one makes me laugh as hard as Sean. And no one makes me feel as safe as my mom. I can't imagine not being able to run home to them after a bad week. And not to mention Ashley Baker, who has been within spitting distance for a decade. What if something happens to one of them and I'm not there? What if something happens to me and they aren't there?
Thinking about this gives me the worst anxiety. Several times today I could feel myself start to cry, so I'd look up and widen my eyes and think of something unrelated. But I know it's going to come. And when it finally does, it's going to be ugly.
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| I wrote this a few days ago.Last week mom emailed me a notice she got from careerbuilder.com, a new photography studio is looking for full-time photographers. It's one of those cookie cutter portrait studios- but it seems that they pay really well for something I can do very easily- so I emailed them my resume and portfolio.
A few days ago, they emailed me and asked to set up an interview. That interview is the day after tomorrow. And the weird thing is, they didn't need me in PA like the ad said-- they need me in Roanoke, Va. My entire family minus my mom and brother live there. And because it's pretty far away, I'm driving to my grandmother's house tomorrow and spending the night there, then driving to Roanoke the next day.
If I get the job, they're going to fly me immediately to Charlotte, NC for a two week paid training program. I don't know what they're planning to teach me though. I guess not all of the people working there have gone to photography school. I'm sure it'll be a two week paid cakewalk.
I won't get my hopes up. If it doesn't happen, whatever, I'll be fine. I'll just look somewhere else. BUT there are so many things that make this the perfect opportunity for me. For one, I'll be moving away from my momma. It will force me to be independent, and I need that. But, in case I get homesick (and I will), conveniently THE ENTIRE REST OF FAMILY lives there. So I will have help in deciding where to live, which parts of town are good/bad, where to have my oil changed, whatever. And it pays so well, more than I ever expected to make, so I can afford a nice place and plane tickets, and I won't have to be a poor college kid anymore.
I'm afraid that if I get the job, I will hate it and I'll be stuck. Or what if they fire me? And will I be really lonely without all my friends? (Yes.) And what if mom gets sick and I can't be there? I'll be so worried about her if I'm in another state.
So many good things, a few bad things, kind of exciting, kinda scary. No reason to think about it yet; I haven't even interviewed and the economy is crap. But I've gotten every job I've interviewed for up until now, so I'll stay positive.
UPDATE:
I got the job, and I'm moving tomorrow.
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